Happiness is one of the most desired and yet elusive qualities in human life. It seems to be an ideal that is difficult to attain. For many, happiness represents a longing for something higher, almost unimaginably challenging to achieve for ordinary mortals. It may signify a certain level of ecstasy, a transcendent state of mind that serves as both the source and ultimate goal. But let’s face it, when we wish each other Good luck, we often don’t really know what we’re wishing for or what we truly desire.
In the past year since I left my 25-year corporate career and embarked on a completely new business path, many acquaintances, former colleagues, and friends have wished me luck. These well-intentioned wishes led me to delve deeper into what happiness means to me.
My own life journey makes me happy.
Though this statement may seem blunt and hard to digest at its core, it takes time to come to this necessary realization. For me personally, it is the only truth. My own process of learning, self-discovery, and transformation with the intention of becoming a better version of myself for both myself and those around me brings genuine true joy.
Admitting that stepping into the unknown can be daunting, while also acknowledging that taking that step was the best thing I ever did in my life has been crucial for my growth. I can say that freedom determines my actions as my most important value—allowing my spirit to live freely in every aspect of my life—a concept that hasn’t always been true.
“I came to teach you the wisdom of life, but perhaps I am called to teach you something even more wonderful, the meaning of suffering and its beauty.” Oscar Wilde
Awareness.
When I contemplate awareness, I am reminded of numerous philosophical debates about truth. What is the truth? How does this word relate to knowledge, ignorance, and maturity? In today’s information era, the concept of awareness becomes relative. In a philosophical context, I see awareness and unawareness reflected through various layers: from a strong desire for knowledge and a passion for discovering truth within oneself; philosopher Renata Salecl beautifully illustrates in her book “The Passion for Ignorance” how today’s individuals simplify their lives by shutting off streams of information more frequently due to overwhelming amounts available; how this affects humanity’s level of awareness becomes an important aspect of human development and that also captures my personal and professional attention.
Tranquility in Stressful Situations.
Remaining composed in highly stressful situations, where it seems there is no way out, requires tranquility and thoughtfulness. For me it’s like the feeling when hiking mountains – not fixating on reaching your destination but focusing on each step of the way and appreciating the breathtaking views along the journey for encouragement. This state allows me for peacefulness alongside focus.
Self-Reliance.
From my young age, I have encountered numerous challenges that demanded self-reliance. In environments and circumstances detrimental to my growth, I had to trust my judgment to discern what was good for me and what was not. Life is a journey of learning, and every experience serves a purpose – teaching us something valuable. The thornier and more difficult the path, the more lessons life offers.
Bravery.
Courage means for me stepping into an unknown experience without knowing its outcome but being certain it will provide a unique experience unlike any other. It creates (for me) an internal force – a blend of faith in oneself, openness towards the unknown with ultimate trust that everything will turn out well. When aligned with a higher purpose guided by our values and authenticity, I see that courage becomes a powerful force leading into uncharted territory as the only viable option.
Heartfulness.
When I think of heartfulness, I also think of something that disappears, dissipates, and disintegrates. It seems like contemporary societal and social norms devalue the warmth, softness, and depth of heartfulness, turning it into a superficial feeling that seems insignificant. I mean the devaluation of its meaning, purpose, and essence.
However, heartfulness originates from the heart—it is the driving force in our lives—and it is an ability that allows us to come closest to truthfulness. Heartfulness enables us to first be kind to ourselves—to love ourselves fully. Only when we achieve heartfulness towards ourselves can we truly be compassionate towards others.
Self-awareness (separate from surroundings).
In my coaching practice, I frequently come across individuals who navigate life by reflecting the world around them. They internalize and often even idealize the events and people they encounter without truly knowing themselves or understanding their desires and aspirations. When questioned about their wishes or goals, they fall silent as they simply have never considered such aspects before. They may say things like “I just live my life without questioning anything.” At this point, I pause, unable to continue without asking: “Who are you then?”
Awareness of priceless gifts of life.
In a world driven by money, where values embody longing for increasingly unattainable levels of materialism, social dominance, power, influence, surface approval and greed—all endlessly compared with others in the pursuit of being better than friends, neighbors, colleagues, acquaintances—we forget that everything we need for a content and fulfilled life is already within us and around us. I believe that happiness is packaged in small things, warm touches, loving eyes, the music of nature, the miracle of each new day.
Balance between giving and receiving.
For most of my life, I never considered how much I give compared to how much I receive. Let me start by explaining what I mean by giving and receiving.
Giving is consciously or even unconsciously striving to support others, providing them with assistance and attention while focusing on supporting them. Giving requires directing one’s energy outwardly. On the other hand, receiving involves focusing on what one receives from the people around them—being receptive to experiences that support or do not support ones—and accepting positive or negative energy from others.
In our fast-paced daily lives with general speediness, it often becomes very difficult, if not impossible, to determine where exactly our energy flows outward and under which circumstances we regain it. That’s why I believe that finding happiness lies in recognizing and actively seeking to balance the energy of giving with the energy of receiving.
Living in the here and now.
A crucial component of the happiness puzzle is living in the present moment. This means embracing life to its fullest extent in the here and now instead of being consumed by past events that tie people down with lingering resentments, traumas, and people who keep them stuck in the past. It also means not fixating on future desires like acquiring a new apartment, car, or going on trips with an expectation that achieving these things will bring true happiness.
In my view, this only leads to a false sense of happiness—an illusion one believes they will attain once their goals are reached or desires fulfilled. I strongly believe that if one cannot find fulfillment within themselves first in the present moment, they won’t find it even when reaching their goals or fulfilling specific desires in the future.
Love.
When I think about love, I’m not thinking about love between two partners. I’m thinking about self-love. So let me ask you right at the beginning – do you love yourself? How does your self-love manifest in your life? How fulfilled and supported do you feel with your self-love? Or do you think that you only have self-love when others love you?
I’ll tell you a personal truth that has become my personal commitment over the years. Before it became that, I had to go through the difficult experience of various tests of love, and only then I realized that this is my truth. My personal commitment is to first and foremost love myself before being able to give love to others. Anything else is just an illusion, or rather a delusion.
Self-love means being kind to oneself, treating oneself with compassion, taking time for oneself and listening to oneself; knowing who you are, what you want, what makes your purpose in this world. Self-love also means caring for your well-being – allowing oneself the regeneration of body, spirit, mind and emotions; making decisions in life that come from within and not succumbing to well-meaning advice from others. It means trusting oneself, allowing oneself to believe in your inner voice or even a calling telling you what’s good for you even if others might disagree.
After all, if we deny ourselves love, how can others possibly love us? Or if we don’t manifest self-love, how can we possibly love someone else?
In my coaching practice, I inevitably touch upon these themes depending on each client’s personal journey towards self-development in life or business coaching. If any of these topics resonate murkily within your own life, don’t hesitate to contact me—I can help you sharpen your understanding of your own path towards happiness.
